Forgiveness, an action of love, hope, trust, and letting go. When you forgive, you’re giving up an anger held in your heart towards somebody and trusting and hoping that they can change their actions towards you, and you’re letting go of that anger. The textbook definition of forgive is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake. Forgiving someone who hurt you can be one of the hardest things you can do, but it is an action that will heal both you, and the relationship or mindset you have with that person.
First, we must address the absence of forgiveness in our current society. A survey from the Washington Post showed that “52% [of people] said they’ve forgiven others for major wrongs done to them and slightly more than four in 10 say they have ever sought forgiveness from others.” That’s only around half of people who claimed to have forgiven someone for a major wrong done. That’s potentially 48% of relationships that will never be healed because there was no forgiveness.
Ephesians 4:32 says, “[b]e kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you”. The words that go alongside forgiving are the words kind and tenderhearted. These words show the goodness of forgiveness and show that forgiveness is a great thing.
A great showing of forgiveness in the Bible is in the book of Genesis, which is the story of Joseph and his brothers. Joseph was their father’s favorite son. His brothers hated him for this, so they sold him away to a caravan of traders bringing goods from Canaan to Egypt. Joseph then went to Egypt and was given by God an opportunity to be in a place of leadership. In this time of leadership there was a famine, and his brothers came to Egypt to get food for their family. Joseph struggled at first and didn’t necessarily want to forgive his brothers for what they had done, but in the end in Genesis 50:20-21 Joseph says, “[a]s for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear: I will Provide for you and your little ones.”
Joseph was sold by his brothers, yet he still forgave them. He struggled to forgive them because of what they did, but in the end, he forgave them so they could live a good life and be provided for. Joseph showed a great act of forgiveness here and showed that even when our own family may desert us, we still should forgive and love them.
Sophomore Adriana Diaz shared her struggle with forgiving and the reason for being able to forgive.
“When I was growing up I had anger towards my father because one, he left me for a whole other family, but two, he left my mom for someone else. I remember learning in the church that forgiveness isn’t for them, it’s for me. So I won’t have any bitterness in my heart. I had a hard time with it, but I know that God forgives me, so who am I to not forgive my father?”
The point that forgiveness isn’t for the other person, it’s for us, is an amazing point. Because that hate in our heart hurts us so much more and eats us up constantly. The more we allow to build up hate without forgiving it and giving it up to God, the more harm we cause internally to ourselves.
Going back to the previously mentioned verse, Ephesians 4;32, we must forgive others as Christ forgave us. It’s so important because we were forgiven by Christ, so we should pay it forward and forgive others.
We are forgiven by Christ. That’s the biggest act of forgiveness anyone has ever given. Take a second, think about all the times you have messed up and done something wrong. Now, think about every other person in the world who does just as much bad, and all the people in history and the wrongs they have done. Now imagine putting the weight of all of those wrongs on one person. That would be terrible, right? It’s unimaginable to see someone have to carry all of that. But it happened. Jesus carried that weight. He was beaten, cursed, and crucified. Through all of this, he was willing. He knew it was the only way, and he did it to save us. He forgave us for everything we have done and ever will do.
Why can’t we show that same forgiveness? What is stopping us from forgiving? I’ve talked about how not forgiving affects relationships. I’ve talked about different acts of forgiveness. I’ve showed that forgiveness is what saved infinitely many people. Now it’s time for us to take that step. Let’s forgive them, so we can be healed.
How can we do that? “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed,” James 5:16. We must confess to each other what we did wrong, and then we pray for each other to be healed. We need to pray because by praying, we are putting God in the center and we are leaving it up to God to fully resolve this problem.
Now, you may be asking, “I know how to forgive, but how can I be forgiven for all I’ve done wrong?” As we talked about, we are forgiven and saved by Jesus dying on the cross and resurrecting three days later. So if we want to experience that forgiveness, and that love and relationship we receive from that forgiveness. We must go into prayer and first admit the wrongs we have done and admit that we are sinners. Then we must ask God to enter our hearts and ask to have a relationship with him. And we need to believe in our heart and confess with our mouth that Jesus did in fact die for our sins and that he has forgiven us and given us a second chance. And confess with our mouth that Jesus is our Savior. This is the best decision you can ever make.
Sophomore Drake Davis explains how it was the best decision he’s ever made. “Accepting Christ is single handedly one of the most important decisions I’ve made in my life, and it’s something you’ll never regret doing, nor something I’ve ever heard anyone else say they regret doing. It’s a free gift waiting for you, you just just have to go and decide to get it.”